marriage is hard sometimes

I'm not ranting and I am not putting down my marriage at all but Can I be real for just a moment?

Marriage sucks sometimes..............

I am a woman, a wife, and a mother who does not have it all together.

Marriage is one of the best things God created. It is a blessing to be married to this other imperfect human that God designed just for you but it isn't always perfect. It isn't always this fairy tale that everyone makes it seems.

Marriage comes with so many challenges. Such as.. Finances, Sex, Communication, Kids, Infidelity and so on....

You are with this person everyday for the rest of your life and its not always peaches and cream... Sometimes I want to act like a baby which I do sometimes pout and cry with my arms folded until he comes for me begging that I forgive him but life isn't that way. We have to work through our problems... Forgive and move on! AND isn't that like the hardest part? lol.... Both of you/us want to be right so nobody wants to do it or somebody wants to have the last word.

Crazy right? Marriage is HARD! PERIOD!

I cry sometimes because I feel like maybe he doesn't love me like he says he does or maybe we just aren't compatible and as I right this mad at him then I go back and realize I am definitely blessed to have the man that I have in my life but it just gets so hard sometimes.

I believe we are one blessed family but I won't sit here and act like we have it all together because we don't. As I sit here writing this post I look back at our good times and realize that our good days definitely outweigh the bad. I am one of those people who absolutely, positively, HATES going to bed mad so hopefully by the end of the day I will be the "bigger" person and resolve this issue before we go to bed tonight. lol

Loving & Learning,
-Martina

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOOO excited..... It's 10:38 pm and its CHRISTmas eve! So, that means tomorrow is Christmas day.... I can't wait to see my girls faces tomorrow when they open their gifts (especially Madison b/c she's the oldest) and see what "Santa" bought them.

However, I asked Madison who's Birthday was tomorrow and she said JESUS! That's right baby....Jesus:) Isn't it pretty cool to have a Wonderful Savior such as Jesus.... He was Born, he died, & he rose again just for me and you! I love you Jesus and I am so thankful for all your many blessings and for giving me chance after chance! You are a wonderful, amazing, all knowing, all powerful, king and I am so THANKFUL!

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just had to get that in because I love this time of year but for some they hate it and as I was reading through my Facebook timeline I was heartbroken. Some people said they weren't in the Christmas mood and other said they hated this time of year.

Let's keep all of those who aren't "feeling it" this year in prayer because for some it isn't the most wonderful time....

Everyone be safe out there and Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

-Martina

The Lost Pacifier.......

Me & Mallorie were driving around and all of a sudden I hear this loud yell and I turn around (while driving) and the pacifier is gone..... I mean nowhere to be found..... By this time I am on the highway and I'm driving and luckily I didn't have a lot of people around me so I'm checking the sides of her car seat and I don't see it or feel it. 

So, at this point I am panicking..... Have you ever been driving and the baby was crying all the way to your destination until you found the paci? Well... That's what was going on! Lol.... I tried talking to to her and that didn't work and then I turned the music up a little so that could calm her down... And guess what? She got quiet so I just so happen to turn around and the paci was in her mouth! Yes, in her mouth! hahahaha

Homegirl had it the whole entire time!

We lose the pacifier all the time or she does which is most of the time.... For example: Yesterday I was looking for one and found the one I was looking for plus another one in Madison's toy box. I was one happy camper! Lol... If you guys could see me when I'm looking for those paci's you would definitely L.O.L. I'm like the top notch paci detective and when I find them I am rejoicing all over the house. My husband doesn't even try to look for them anymore because he knows I'll find them. Honestly, I should get a stash of them or just wean her off of them because we are always looking for those little suckers. It helps her sleep and relaxes her when she's cranky, it's really for me because mommy can't take all of the crying sometimes so yes it is definitely a lifesaver. 

The Lost Pacifier is HI-LA-RI-OU-S because most times when I am looking for it, I am so pathetic and desperate, its like I'm on some type of scavenger hunt trying to find this great reward :-)

P.S. Watch out for The Lost Pacifier Part II because we will surely lose it again

-Martina

What type of mommy am I?

I am not your typical mommy. I don't know how to act like I have it all together or try to impress people with ways that I raise my children. I am a Stay at Home Mom who gets frustrated, moody, and happy all in a matter of 5 mins. Society makes women believe that we have to have it all together but in all honesty we are human and things aren't always going to be perfect.

I enjoy my kids and I love them with every thing in me but kids are a handful  well maybe my kids because I know some of you have it all together  and they can wear you out and bring on complete exhaustion. My sweet bowlegged 1 year old Mallorie is into EVERYTHING and she loves her mommy. She is one clingy baby and she won't let me out of her sight. It is so emotionally draining when you have a clingy baby grabbing on you "ALL" day and crying when you leave her sight. It's emotionally tiring and exhausting.

Sometimes throughout the day I think to myself "Am I suppose to be a SAHM?"..... Crazy thing is sometimes I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I should be doing something else but daycare is $250 a week and aint nobody got time for that... LOL....

There are days when I feel like this wonderful supermom and then there are days when I feel like I going to lose my mind. And Mommies if you ever have those feelings IT'S OK!!!! I had to except that it is ok to feel that way. Being home with 1+ child all day, I mean literally all day, is very exhausting. I have found different hobbies to at least feel like I'm doing something with my life because if I don't have something to bring me back to reality when I'm having a moody mommy day, I probably would go in a closet and cry.

Let me be clear, I LOVE and ADORE my blessings from God but I have those days where I'm like this couldn't be the life I thought I was going to have. HA! I mean you think you're going to go to college and finish (for those of us who didn't) meet this amazing man, get married, have beautiful obedient kids, and live this amazing beautiful life and its going to be this fairytale! Ummmmm- NOT! HA! Life isn't like that.... It comes with all types of twists, turns, mistakes, errors, happy, sad, and amazing moments.

I get compliments on how good I am with the girls and then there are days I feel like this horrible mom but I guess its just that inner crazy me talking. Being a mom is hard, dedicated work. Our kids depend on us, whether we work or stay home and it is a lot to carry and its scary because you trying to make sure you're raising them the best way you know how. However, I am blessed with these two beautiful girls but this mommy gets tired and drained. I need God to strengthen me because this is one tough job. If you're honest with yourself you get frustrated too:)


-Martina