Happy New Year!

This year has definitely had its up's and down's but I made it through and if you're reading this, you made it too! This year I've renewed my vows after 5 years of marriage, raised to beautiful girls, cried a couple of tears, gained a few friends, and discovered a few things about myself. This year has not been easy but what year has? Life is full of challenges and through those challenges we learn how to be better people and learn from the trials that we've faced.

I'm excited about 2013 not because of anything in particular but just because its a New Year and I lived to see it:)

Shout out to my 4 amazing new followers, I gained before the end of 2012! 

I will be spending my New Year's Eve in church worshipping & Praising God. However, If you are doing something different or are doing the same thing. I wish you a very Safe, Prosperous, and Blessed year!

-Martina

My Job

God is so amazing:)

I had a bad morning yesterday and let me tell you why!

I went out with my family yesterday to Golden Corral for breakfast and everything was going well until my cousin states that the boots I had on were cute and then started to joke about where I got them and how much I paid for them because my family knows that if I can find a great bargain I will certainly go with that. I mean who wouldn't? Lol..

However, it was funny for a while then it led from one thing to the next and to make a long story short he said these powerful words... "Oh, you don't do nothing but stay home with your kids, etc" honestly, he said more but I was so heated I actually forgot what he said. Now this is one of my favorite cousins and he says it a lot, I guess he gets a kick about me being a stay at home mom but I don't. 

I don't have a strong support system when it comes to me being home with the girls and I know I really don't  need one but it does help to have one sometimes. See a lot of the women in my family had to work (even my grandmother) so I am pretty much the only one in my family who has been afforded the opportunity to stay at home with my girls so it becomes a joke with them but they forget that I have feelings sometimes. 

A long time ago I use to be ashamed to tell people what I do now because not to long ago I had a job or 2 or 3:) 

BUT last night I was reading a post from my blogger friend Mrs. Tabb's and let me just say that the frustration I was feeling was lifted immediately. It was like God guided me to this post! So, I will stop rambling now and I want you to head on over and read Reasons you could be a SAHM and allow it to minister to your spirit.

For all SAHM's out there and to those who will soon be one, read this post and allow it to encourage you as well.

I am a proud stay at home mom and I thank God for choosing me for the Job!

-Martina

Oh, how

I MISS MY LONG HAIR:( 

I cut it in February 2011 and at the time I felt like it was a great choice, even though the guy who cut it did NOT give me the bob I asked for. It still turned out cute but now as I looked over my FB photos I ran across a pic a few weeks before I cut my hair and I got all emotional because I started to miss my long hair. It's not really short but its not as long as it was either. I will show you before and after pics of my hair. 

This is my hair before I cut it.... Really Long:)

This is my hair after I cut it & colored it Jet Black

This is my hair Now....

Its growing back ssssllllooooowwwwlllllyyyyy ....LOL.... So, I can't complain but I still miss my hair.

-Martina

marriage is hard sometimes

I'm not ranting and I am not putting down my marriage at all but Can I be real for just a moment?

Marriage sucks sometimes..............

I am a woman, a wife, and a mother who does not have it all together.

Marriage is one of the best things God created. It is a blessing to be married to this other imperfect human that God designed just for you but it isn't always perfect. It isn't always this fairy tale that everyone makes it seems.

Marriage comes with so many challenges. Such as.. Finances, Sex, Communication, Kids, Infidelity and so on....

You are with this person everyday for the rest of your life and its not always peaches and cream... Sometimes I want to act like a baby which I do sometimes pout and cry with my arms folded until he comes for me begging that I forgive him but life isn't that way. We have to work through our problems... Forgive and move on! AND isn't that like the hardest part? lol.... Both of you/us want to be right so nobody wants to do it or somebody wants to have the last word.

Crazy right? Marriage is HARD! PERIOD!

I cry sometimes because I feel like maybe he doesn't love me like he says he does or maybe we just aren't compatible and as I right this mad at him then I go back and realize I am definitely blessed to have the man that I have in my life but it just gets so hard sometimes.

I believe we are one blessed family but I won't sit here and act like we have it all together because we don't. As I sit here writing this post I look back at our good times and realize that our good days definitely outweigh the bad. I am one of those people who absolutely, positively, HATES going to bed mad so hopefully by the end of the day I will be the "bigger" person and resolve this issue before we go to bed tonight. lol

Loving & Learning,
-Martina

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOOO excited..... It's 10:38 pm and its CHRISTmas eve! So, that means tomorrow is Christmas day.... I can't wait to see my girls faces tomorrow when they open their gifts (especially Madison b/c she's the oldest) and see what "Santa" bought them.

However, I asked Madison who's Birthday was tomorrow and she said JESUS! That's right baby....Jesus:) Isn't it pretty cool to have a Wonderful Savior such as Jesus.... He was Born, he died, & he rose again just for me and you! I love you Jesus and I am so thankful for all your many blessings and for giving me chance after chance! You are a wonderful, amazing, all knowing, all powerful, king and I am so THANKFUL!

JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just had to get that in because I love this time of year but for some they hate it and as I was reading through my Facebook timeline I was heartbroken. Some people said they weren't in the Christmas mood and other said they hated this time of year.

Let's keep all of those who aren't "feeling it" this year in prayer because for some it isn't the most wonderful time....

Everyone be safe out there and Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

-Martina

The Lost Pacifier.......

Me & Mallorie were driving around and all of a sudden I hear this loud yell and I turn around (while driving) and the pacifier is gone..... I mean nowhere to be found..... By this time I am on the highway and I'm driving and luckily I didn't have a lot of people around me so I'm checking the sides of her car seat and I don't see it or feel it. 

So, at this point I am panicking..... Have you ever been driving and the baby was crying all the way to your destination until you found the paci? Well... That's what was going on! Lol.... I tried talking to to her and that didn't work and then I turned the music up a little so that could calm her down... And guess what? She got quiet so I just so happen to turn around and the paci was in her mouth! Yes, in her mouth! hahahaha

Homegirl had it the whole entire time!

We lose the pacifier all the time or she does which is most of the time.... For example: Yesterday I was looking for one and found the one I was looking for plus another one in Madison's toy box. I was one happy camper! Lol... If you guys could see me when I'm looking for those paci's you would definitely L.O.L. I'm like the top notch paci detective and when I find them I am rejoicing all over the house. My husband doesn't even try to look for them anymore because he knows I'll find them. Honestly, I should get a stash of them or just wean her off of them because we are always looking for those little suckers. It helps her sleep and relaxes her when she's cranky, it's really for me because mommy can't take all of the crying sometimes so yes it is definitely a lifesaver. 

The Lost Pacifier is HI-LA-RI-OU-S because most times when I am looking for it, I am so pathetic and desperate, its like I'm on some type of scavenger hunt trying to find this great reward :-)

P.S. Watch out for The Lost Pacifier Part II because we will surely lose it again

-Martina

What type of mommy am I?

I am not your typical mommy. I don't know how to act like I have it all together or try to impress people with ways that I raise my children. I am a Stay at Home Mom who gets frustrated, moody, and happy all in a matter of 5 mins. Society makes women believe that we have to have it all together but in all honesty we are human and things aren't always going to be perfect.

I enjoy my kids and I love them with every thing in me but kids are a handful  well maybe my kids because I know some of you have it all together  and they can wear you out and bring on complete exhaustion. My sweet bowlegged 1 year old Mallorie is into EVERYTHING and she loves her mommy. She is one clingy baby and she won't let me out of her sight. It is so emotionally draining when you have a clingy baby grabbing on you "ALL" day and crying when you leave her sight. It's emotionally tiring and exhausting.

Sometimes throughout the day I think to myself "Am I suppose to be a SAHM?"..... Crazy thing is sometimes I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I should be doing something else but daycare is $250 a week and aint nobody got time for that... LOL....

There are days when I feel like this wonderful supermom and then there are days when I feel like I going to lose my mind. And Mommies if you ever have those feelings IT'S OK!!!! I had to except that it is ok to feel that way. Being home with 1+ child all day, I mean literally all day, is very exhausting. I have found different hobbies to at least feel like I'm doing something with my life because if I don't have something to bring me back to reality when I'm having a moody mommy day, I probably would go in a closet and cry.

Let me be clear, I LOVE and ADORE my blessings from God but I have those days where I'm like this couldn't be the life I thought I was going to have. HA! I mean you think you're going to go to college and finish (for those of us who didn't) meet this amazing man, get married, have beautiful obedient kids, and live this amazing beautiful life and its going to be this fairytale! Ummmmm- NOT! HA! Life isn't like that.... It comes with all types of twists, turns, mistakes, errors, happy, sad, and amazing moments.

I get compliments on how good I am with the girls and then there are days I feel like this horrible mom but I guess its just that inner crazy me talking. Being a mom is hard, dedicated work. Our kids depend on us, whether we work or stay home and it is a lot to carry and its scary because you trying to make sure you're raising them the best way you know how. However, I am blessed with these two beautiful girls but this mommy gets tired and drained. I need God to strengthen me because this is one tough job. If you're honest with yourself you get frustrated too:)


-Martina

Another American Tragedy

I'm going to make this blog short and sweet because I don't really have much to say about it because it is so devastating and heartbreaking to continue to think about and speak on but sad to say that once again someone has taken the lives of innocent people and this time it was 6 and 7 year old students and a adults.

We live in a crazy world and it seems like we aren't safe hardly any where that we go.

On the day that it happened these were my exact thoughts.... "I couldn't even bare to watch the news for more than 10 mins! I have been in Prayer today for these families and for my very own. This is another tragedy in America and all we can do is Pray. I teach Madison to pray at night for God to protect her. They may have taken prayer out of the school but it is our responsibility to teach our children to pray and allow them to see us praying in our home. Also, I don't know a lot about Mental Illness but what I do know is that people have to start taking it serious. Even if you have a child or family member that suffers from it. Make sure they take their Meds, are in counseling, and have regular Psych Evaluations."

I pray for those families in Connecticut that lost a child or loved one on 12/14/2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I pray that God will strengthen them and give them a peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray that each day (even though it probably feels impossible) they will find the strength to make it.

Someone sent this to my husband and it really encouraged me and I hope you are encouraged too!



Responding to the Tragedy in Connecticut:

Our hearts are broken for the families whose children were slaughtered in the Connecticut grade school on Friday. There’s nothing more heart-rending than the death of an innocent child. David wrote about wicked people who, “shoot from ambush at the innocent man; they shoot at him suddenly, without fear”. (Psalm 64:4)

I can’t think of anything more evil than for someone to gun down a defenseless, terrified kindergartner – let alone an entire classroom! We can understand why Jesus warned if anyone harms one of these little ones it would be better for him if a millstone was draped around his neck and he be drowned in the depths of the sea. We can only conclude that the young perpetrator of this horrible deed was mentally deranged.

Let’s really pray for the parents, the grandparents, the brothers and sisters of the slain children – they are experiencing unspeakable grief. Let’s pray that God brings a special comfort to those who mourn in the depth of their souls tonight.

Let’s be sure to do our part to protect our own children. Insist that your children’s school has proper protection. There is really no totally safe place, but we have an obligation to protect the lives and innocence of our kids the best we can. In 1849 Robert Winthrop stated, “Men…must necessarily be controlled, either by a power within them, or by a power without them; either by the Word of God, or by the strong arm of man; either by the Bible, or by the bayonet.” Having scoffed at the Bible and removed it from our classrooms, we are left trying to restrain the carnal nature of man by force.

Let’s understand the times and be ready for the Lord’s return. The Apostle Paul predicted, “There will be terrible times in the last days….evil men and imposters will go from bad to worse….” (2 Tim. 3:1 & 13)

Jesus prophesied the final days would see an increase in anarchy. “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man”. (Matthew 24:37)…. In the days of Noah, “The earth was corrupt in God’s sight and full of violence” (Gen. 6:11)

I am convinced we are in the final stages of history and are witnessing the unraveling of a society that has rejected God. The increase of violence and mass shootings is just one of a number of signals that the Lord’s return is eminent. Just as salmon instinctively swim upstream, God’s people should be looking up, sensing their redemption is drawing near.

Let’s make a concerted effort to train our children to know the Lord and respect Biblical standards of truth. They aren’t going to be taught right and wrong in value-neutral schools. They are bombarded with anti-biblical messages from violent video games, popular music, and vulgar movies. Christian parents must be proactive. Read the Bible to your children. Discuss spiritual matters when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

In the movie Shawshank Redemption, Andy, a banker who has been imprisoned for a double murder he did not commit, tells Red, a man he befriends in prison, “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free”. Let’s be courageous enough to live with hope and not fear. The Scripture admonishes us, “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer…. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” (Revelation 2:10)

God has not promised us exemption from tragedies or death. But He has promised to be with us through whatever happens. Let’s rise to the occasion and be strong and courageous and joyful in all circumstances. This is no time to hunker down in our homes and refuse to go to any public place for fear some madman with an automatic weapon may unload on us. Our children and our neighbors need the inspiration of Godly people who are fearless.

Revelation speaks of those who overcame by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

Our kids don’t need to see us biting our nails and sheltering them from all risks. They need to see that our faith in Christ is genuine and that, “we will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day” (Psalm 91:5) because “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

The Apostle Paul went on to write, “I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

-Bob Russell

God Bless,

Martina

D.I.Y Santa Wreath

First let me say I am definitely proud of myself for seeing a craft on Pinterest and being determined to do it and complete it.

I was on Pinterest pinning as usual and ran across this Santa Wreath and thought it was the coolest wreath. I mean you don't normally see wreaths like this hanging on someone's door during Christmas and I told myself I had to make it because I love things that are different and I really wanted to challenge myself. 

I am going to do a "How to" for anyone that's interested in making it. However, before I begin I do want you to know that my pictures are horrible because I was using my cell phone and because the lighting in the house was very awful but you can see it good enough to understand where I am going with it.

Supplies:

           1. Styrofoam Wreath 

                            2. Red Spray Paint or Red Paint

3. Red burlap

  4. Black burlap

 5. Hot glue gun

                              6. Silver or Gold scrapbook paper 

      7. Wooden Letters

                                                    8. White paint (only if you don't buy white letters)

I bought a white styrofoam wreath and immediately started adding burlap rosettes to it and realized that you could see the white through the burlap. So, I was trying to figure out a way to cover up the white so I was searching and found a blog where a woman had spray painted her wreath red so when she added the rosettes you couldn't see white. I can't remember what blog it was but thanks so much!!!! So, I realized I had some red paint from when I painted my "L" on my fall wreath. I started painting it and I only had a really tiny paint brush so it took forever . I painted it and let it dry and I decided to finish it the next day. 

I started making Rosettes and added them to the wreath with my hot glue gun. BTW, I burned myself and had a blistered index finger for 2 days. Ouch:(

After I added all of the Rosettes I cut a long piece of black burlap (I didn't measure it, sorry) and I made sure it went all the way around the wreath and then I glued it to the wreath.

Next, I got my sparkly scrap book paper that I got for $1.00 because they had a sale that day! Yay! Cut it in a square and used it for my belt buckle.

Last, I got my wooden letters and painted them with my Deco art snow paint (that I'm using for another D.I.Y that I found on pinterest) painted them and then glued it to my wreath.

Here are a few pictures of how I did everything.... I tried to explain it the best I knew how not really good at that  Enjoy!!!!!

You don't have to use this actual paint but I already had it that's why I used it but it works great

You should be able to find it at any craft store. I got mine at Hobby Lobby on Sale for .89

I cut the burlap in circles. I did not measure them I just cut small circles and big circles but I had a lot because I wanted my wreath to be really full. I went to Hobby Lobby and got 2/3 of a yard of burlap and thought it was enough but because I made it so full when I was half way I ran out. I had to go back to Hobby Lobby and I decided to get 1/2 a yard and it was just enough and I had a little bit left over.

After I cut my circles I bunched it up until it look like the rosette you see below and then I hot glued it to the wreath. Also, in order for my rosettes to stay like that I hot glued it on the inside so it could hold and then I glued it to the wreath.

I think I used about 10 or more Hot glue sticks to make this wreath. You don't need that much but I was suffering from paranoia and ocd (I don't have ocd or anything to that nature but sometimes I feel like I do when I want things to be a cetain way) at the time and I really wanted my rosettes to stay so I glued and glued until I felt like it was secure. You just have to use the amount that satisfies you.

This is how the wreath looks in its beginning stages and with the paint on it.

This is just a close-up picture

Now I am at the half way mark on day 1 1/2 and this is when I had to stop and go back to Hobby Lobby to get more Burlap. My finger was blistered by this point, my wrist was hurting, and my hand was completed tired from all of the cutting to make the circles. 

This is how it should look when its full 

I can not remember the exact name for this paper but I did get out of the scrap book paper aisle at Michaels. It was originally $1.99 but I got it on sale for $1.00.

                                                     

This is something I actually measured because I wanted my lines to be even. FYI: the box on the inside is for you to cut out so you can have a thick, evenly sized belt buckle.

 I got the wooden letters from Hobby Lobby for .99 per pack and you get 4 letters in each pack. So, I spent $2.00 for 8 letters which was a pretty good deal.

The Finished Product..... Santa Claus Wreath!!!!

It took me 2 days to finish it because making the rosettes from the circles I cut and gluing them is time consuming and I had a lot of distractions with the kids and my other duties I have to do through out the day. It shouldn't take you that long if you actually have a lot of free time so I hope you enjoyed my tutorial on my Santa Claus Christmas Wreath! 

Best of Luck,

The Queen

Pressure

I put to much Parenting pressure on myself sometimes. I mean when I think about it I know I'm not alone but I hate the pressure. lol

Here are a few examples of when the "pressure" comes in......................................

1. If I don't play with them for a long period of time- I mean what is the actual time limit that you should play with your kids? If I play with them for 10 mins right before bed time or earlier in the day I feel like a failure b/c I'm doing it just to please myself to make myself feel like super mom and if I play with them for more than an hour I get frustrated because Madison ALWAYS tells me what to do and how to do it and oh my goodness, the whole lets play barbie drives me nuts with the whole play talking and walking. 
2. Giving in to all of their "wants". Mallorie wants me to hold her all the time or she just wants to be under me 24/7. I mean I try not to give in to all of her wants but I hate to hear her cry and it gives me a headache  so I give in ALL the time. Madison always wants something out of the store no matter where we are. Shoot we could be at a car wash and she's going to say she wants air freshener. Lol... I think you get where I'm going with her but yeah. I'm working on not giving in so much. Well, not as much as I should but I want to:)
3. When I have that I'm tired attitude with them and I'm just so frustrated. After the king has gotten on my nerves about not helping out sometimes or I have heard "mommy" way to many times. My mommy dearest starts kicking in and I feel like I'm having an outer body experience because of all the things that's happening around me so I am really trying to work on the whole being frustrated thing but ummmm its so difficult. 
4. I hardly ever take them to the park b/c I think creepy people hang out at parks and I think that maybe someone is watching me or something. Weird I know but hey don't blame it on me blame it on Criminal Minds and Law & Order: SVU... HA!

Can you feel the pressure:)

The Queen

Miss Madi is Sick......Again!

Right now I am going to rant! 

It really saddens me to see Madi sick because there is nothing I can do about it except pray, comfort her, and give her medicine. She was out on Tuesday and even though she wasn't feeling well she really wanted to go on Wednesday so we let her go; but when daddy woke her up this morning she was totally out of it and was burning up so she didn't go to school today. I guess that what happens when parents bring their kids to school sick sometimes.

The fact that they look so pitiful and it seems like my mommy super powers (hehehe) don't work at the moment gets the best of me because there is nothing you can do but what I said earlier and just wait until it passes I mean who wants to see their child in pain and sick?. 

I forgot to mention since I'm only on here every blue moon she is in Pre-K now and she's doing extremely well:) 

P.S. Here's a picture of my Princess on her First day of School....

-Martina

Crafting is my Thing!

Lately, a lot of my time has been put into crafting AND I absolutely LOVE it!!!! I have enjoyed it quite a bit too. It all started last year. I decided I wanted to start making my daughters bows because it is definitely cheaper than buying it in the store. My love for making bows started to grow into wanting to experience crafting with other things.

So far I've made Bows, a tutu, our fall wreath, and Breast Cancer Ribbons for all the women at our church. It has definitely been a great experience and it also shows me that I have more to me than I thought.

Sometimes we limit ourselves to one thing or we think that we are only capable of being wives, mothers, friends, or to do that one thing that everyone has boxed us into doing but I learned just through my experience with crafting is that we have so much to offer this world. We forget about our creative side and what we could actually do if we just sat down and learned.

Hey, Being a SAHM has its perks:) I have been able to do a lot and I can't wait to do more!

Follow me along for the Journey,
Martina

Here is a picture of the wreath: 

My Princesses Halloween Picture

Presenting: Princess Belle & The Pumpkin..... Aren't they the CUTEST???????

Mallorie will be ONE in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby girl is approaching her 1st Birthday and I am having mixed emotions. The sweetest baby in this world is  growing up right before my eyes. The crazy thing is that since she's been teething these last few weeks I have been able to cuddle with her and rock her to sleep. It seems as if she's a baby all over again and I am enjoying every bit of it.

I am not letting these precious times and memories pass me by, I am soaking it all in and enjoying every minute of it. I keep telling Mel that I just had her last year and now she's talking, walking, getting attitudes, when she can't have her way and she's eating anything she can put in her mouth on.

I love her with everything in me and I am so excited about the years to come:)

I have so many party ideas... Pretty in pink, An Owl theme, or a Fall "non-scary" Halloween 1st Birthday. I just can't seem to make up my mind but whatever I do, I will definitely post pictures.

I LOVE YOU MALLORIE VICTORIA:)

Our Vow Renewal....

I was going to title this blog "I'm Back" but I already have 2 of those so I decided to blog, like I never stopped. I've been gone for 7 months  and I have definitely missed blogging! So much has happened so I'll start with this one.

As you can see on my last post in March I created the a SavetheDate with Shutterfly for our vow renewal. The day came on July 14th and it was the most stressful, adventurous, happiest days of my life. Me and Mel were married on June 22, 2007 but we eloped and never had an actual ceremony and decided to have one on our 5th year wedding anniversary. It was simply amazing.... There were some things that I wasn't satisfied with or should I say didn't turn out the way I wanted it too but overall it was really the best day of my life. Our colors were Platinum, Ivory, Yellow, and Black. It came out perfect. Simply Beautiful. I will post pictures to let them speak for itself. To top it off we wore yellow converse for the reception and everyone loved it. Mel wore charcoal gray and I wore an Ivory Galina Signature gown from David's Bridal. The collar on my dress was "killa" HA! Below you will see pictures of our day.... Enjoy:)

Photo Card

Takes Two Cocoa Wedding Save the Date

Shutterfly's exclusive line of graduation announcements and invitations.

View the entire collection of cards.

I Adore my Husband

I'm sitting here thinking about how Good I have it. I'm SO blessed and I don't take it for granted.
Who wouldn't love a man that loves God and his family? I know I do..... He works so hard to provide for us and he allows me to stay home with girls. He doesn't complain but encourages me, pushes me into my destiny, and prays for me constantly. I love him so much and I thank God for blessing me with such a man. He loves me in spite of my flaws and he continues to be a Great husband and leader of this family. He has not been perfect and yes he does make me mad sometimes and maybe a little frustrated but the Good always outweighs the bad.

Ladies: encourage, pray, and support your man. 

Tootles

I'm Exhausted

Being a mommy is not an easy job but I do love it. I just want to make it clear, that I love my girls more than life itself. When I get up in the morning I am constantly on the move, from Madi to the baby to the baby from Mallorie and its all VERY overwhelming. Today and yesterday was one of those days. I kept hearing my name (mommy) being called and Mallorie has been a little cranky lately because she had a cold and is still going through the motions with that and she's teething. Sometimes I get so very overwhelmed and it hard to deal but I deal.... Most times my days don't end how they started but today has been a long day and I'm going to bed drained and exhausted. My goal is to try and get me and the girls on a schedule so they can go to bed at a decent time and so I can have quality time with myself and my husband.

My bed is not big enough for Four

I don't enjoy my kids sleeping with me. Madison sleeps wild and Mallorie is ok but I would like my bed to myself for me and my husband. Mallorie was in her bassinet but now she decided that's not where she wants to sleep so she sleeps with us. The good thing about her sleeping with us is that if she wakes up in the middle of the night I can just nurse her. However, last night was the first night in a long time Mallorie slept in her bassinet all night. Me and the hubby were able to cuddle until we fell asleep.

One Day....

One Day I would love to just wake up without thinking about anyone but myself

One Day I would like to go out without having to rush home because the baby won't stop crying or because she won't take a bottle

One Day I would like to not worry about cooking a dinner

One Day I would like to not feel bad because I didn't cook that dinner

One Day I would like to take a shower without rushing because the baby is hungry, crying, or sleepy

One Day I would like to sleep without having to keep getting up because Madison is afraid to sleep in her own bed

One Day I would like to be able to put the baby down without her crying just because she wants me to pick her up

One Day I would like to accomplish things around the house that I've planned on doing for that day

One Day I would like to feel appreciated for all I do

Yeah, Just One Day.....

A Mommy Break

It is 7:27 pm and the girls are asleep..... I am sitting in my room with the light off and the girls are sound asleep next to me... They've actually been sleep for quite a while and I don't plan on waking them up:-/ I know when hubbs comes home hes going to be upset but I just wanted a break to just be on the internet, read blogs, BLOG,  etc. without being interrupted. I didn't take the chance to do house work which I know needs to be done, I got a mommy break and I don't feel bad about it. I'm enjoying looking at their sweet little faces while they sleep while praying they don't wake up.... hahahaha..... The crazy part about this whole thing is that it's all most 8:00 and I know for a fact I'm going to regret this later:-)

Tootles

Mallorie won't take a Bottle

I am beyond upset with myself for getting toooo lazy to pump and make her take a bottle every now and then. She will NOT take it and will refuse for as long as she can and I hate to see her upset and crying her little heart out that I'll give in and give her the boobs! It's all very frustrating and I would like to start weaning her now so by the time she's six months she'll be formula and breastfeed but I already see I have a long road ahead of me. To be honest I use to love pumping and seeing all of the milk that came out of me but staying home with the girls got me really lazy as far as pumping so when she got hungry I would just pull out a boob. I love being able to just feed her without having to run in the kitchen and make a bottle. BUT there are consequences with doing that.... I'm unable to leave her alone with anyone for long periods of time, we hardly ever go on a date night without her, the hubby (poor thing) can't even put her to sleep because she wants to fall asleep on my boob. It's all becoming too much and I would like to give up breastfeeding all together. I don't want to seem like a quitter but I'm very overwhelmed. I'm praying that baby girl will take a bottle soon so mommy can get a little help because the hubbs told me last night that this whole thing is my fault and that's why he can't help with her. And he's absolutely right!

Tootles

My snack before bed

These cookies are the TRUTH!!!!

The only time I don't eat them is when we run out but before bed every night I have to bake at least 4-5 cookies and get me a giant glass of milk to go along with it and I'm good to go! I'm mad right now because I ate the last of them last night and I want some so bad right now.... I know I need to break this habit but these cookies are delicious... If you haven't had them you MUST try them because they are YUMMY:-)

Tootles

This week has been a rough one

I have a lot to write about today more so because I have the time and I have to catch up on things I've been wanting to blog about. You may see two more blogs after this one due to the fact that I'm unable to post like I would like. However- here we go.... My Mom had dental surgery and ever since I knew she was going to have major surgery in her mouth I knew I would go and care for her, especially since I stay home with the girls, it wasn't a problem b/c I have the time and I'm able to do it. Well, try taking care of your mom with a toddler and a very new infant around. hahahaha... I thought it would be easy b/c we were at my grandparents house and my grandmother was there and she had the baby, let's just say the baby didnt want to cooperate because she's so use to mommy and always wants mommy due to me nursing her all the time. They have a huge house with a ton of stairs so I was running up and down the steps taking care of my mom and the babies which was fine until Madison wanted one thing after the other then the baby wouldn't stay in her bouncer for more than 5 mins. I would put the baby to sleep and Madison would come by and wake her up some how (like she always does! UGH) and I would have to start all over again with Mallorie. Then Madison was talking extremely loud. Everyone such as my mom, myself, and my grandparents couldn't handle the noise  I  mean she is LOUD sometimes! I immediately started getting a migraine and everything she and Mallorie would do I would get more aggravated. I had to cut of Mallorie's onesie because she "went" and when I say it got everywhere, it got Everywhere! To make a long story short and stop all of my ramblings by the end of the night the ate and Madison fell out on the floor and went to sleep. I didn't bother her, normally I would move her so she could be comfortable or so I wouldn't have to step over here but she did so much that day, I had to discipline her more than I wanted to, and she wouldn't listen to anything anyone was telling her.... I left her there until it was time to go. Mallorie eventually fell asleep in her car seat, never really happens unless we're in the car but it happened and I didn't bother her either. I left with a headache and prayed to God when I got home and begged asked him if I could get a good night's sleep. Needless to say, my prayer was answered! I am so terribly sorry for my ramblings but it was hectic. All of this happened Wed and Thurs. Wed was Extreme and Thursday wasn't so bad but it wasn't that great of a day either. I wanted to blog about it as soon as I got home but I was so exhausted and emotional I couldn't do it. I just wanted to sleep....

The Terrible 3's

I finally have a chance to write in my blog:-) It's so hard to blog especially with Madison and Mallorie.... So, I try to do the best that I can! However, Madison sometimes drives me to the edge. This almost 4 year old little girl is off the chain. Why didn't anyone tell me about the Terrible 3's? She is starting to tell me no, she says the most outrageous things, if you heard my child talk you would think she was a bit older (people that meet us for the first time usually think she is older) and that she was in school. She's a very bright little girl but her energy level is through the roof and I have to repeat myself more than I want to. I love my baby with everything in me but she drives me insane sometimes! If some of you would be honest I think at some point in time your child probably does too... Lol..... She'll even do something I told her not to do and look at me and smile, just to see if she can get away with it. Kids will drive you up the wall sometime, I don't mind it because they are kids and that's what they do. I mean I was once a child but I wasn't as active as Madison is. Sometimes I do let things slide because I know she is a child but the older she gets I have to discipline and explain to her this is not right and things she can and can not do because I don't want her acting a certain way around people. She'll be starting Pre-K in August so I want her to be well behaved. However, Madison has been a little rowdy recently and I hope she starts to calm down soon because I can only take so much:-)

I Nursed in Public

Breastfeeding has been going extremely well this go round with Baby #2... The only complaint I have is that she eats A LOT, She's always hungry and I find myself popping out my boobs more than I would like... However, Everything is going very well and I am Thankful for that b/c I wasn't able to exclusively breastfeed Madison as I hoped and I was in a lot of pain due to the sore nipples. I gave it up after 3 months. So, I nursed in public on Saturday night when we took Madison to Chuckie Cheese. I came back from playing with Maddie and the hubby was like "homegirl is hungry what are you going to do?" I brought some similac someone had given me b/c I didn't have enough to pump. I knew it would be hard to give her similac because she is an exclusively breastfeed baby and like I expected she spit it out and wouldn't take it.... So, I was like forget it! I'm not going to let my child suffer b/c I'm afraid someone is going to call the cops on me b/c I popped my boob out to feed my baby  so I got my nursing cover and fed her. I got a few stares but who cares it didn't take long and mommy & baby were happy! I'm not going to lie, I was afraid to do it... I heard it was against the law, etc. I think I might start doing it more often instead of frustrating myself trying to find somewhere to feed her and all that jazz. She hates doesn't like a bottle so a girls got to do what a girls got to do. My goal is to stop exclusively nursing her at 6 months but I think my little fat mama has some other plans.

Tootles

Can you please stop yelling?

The hubby asked me that today.... I couldn't even get mad because I have a tendency of yelling when I get irritated with him and the kids. I feel like if I have to repeat myself over and over again, maybe if I yell they will hear me.

The hubby told me tonight that he doesn't want this family to yell anymore, especially the 2 of us.... He doesn't want our girls seeing us yelling at each other, and I have to agree with him. It's not something I want them to see or do in there later years. By the way my daughter (Maddie) has a tendency of talking loud as well. Majority of my family on my mom's side talk REALLY loud but most of the time we don't even realize it and it has happened to fall on my Maddie. She is a loud girl and when she cries its the worse its loud too!

I love my hubbs.... He mad a lot of sense tonight, we are total opposites and we balance each other out! I'm working on not talking loud and especially talking loud in front of the girls.... He we all have to start somewhere so tomorrow is a new day and maybe I could bring it down a notch:-)

Tootles

I AM IN LOVE

with a little girl named Mallorie.... I love her so much! She is 3 months old now

She does not like her bouncy for more than 15 mins    

She's teething and sucking on her fingers now

She still doesn't have any tears when she cries

She is the happiest little baby when she's not hungry, wet, or sleepy

She pukes all the time

She does not like bottles only my nipple

She loves her binky

She's eating cereal out of a spoon

She does not like to be rocked to sleep by daddy

Her nails grow like crazy

She loves bath time

She LOVES her big sister

May I have some privacy please?

One of my favorite lines out of the movie Crooklyn from the mother of 5 kids w/ a husband-- "I can't even go to the bathroom without 6 people hanging off my tits!" Lol..... Every time I hear that I laugh because its a true statement.

Sometimes I just want to go the bathroom without Madison walking in... Even when I lock the door she goes and gets a knife from her tea party set and unlocks the door! She'll come in and say I need to brush my teeth, use the potty, or she'll just come in and ask me what I'm doing and will try to have a conversation. My husband will do the same thing.... He says he can't hold "it" so he'll come in and use the bathroom. We live in an older home and it only has one bathroom so it gets a little frustrating (by the way- I can't wait to move at the end of March. YAY). Now, when I'm home alone with the girls its even more frustrating. I try to sneak a shower in but I can't, someone either wakes up etc. so while they are awake I get her bouncy and put it in front of the bathroom door so I can see her/ hear her but she doesn't like her bouncy so she cries the whole time and I have to rush my shower or I have to keep yelling through the shower to tell Madison to put her sisters binky in her mouth or talk and play with her sister until I get out. It's been a while since I had a new born in the house so I forgot how hard it is to get some time in the shower. Sometimes just sometimes I want to take a bath or shower without being interrupted with smells, 3 year old conversations, or a baby crying. hahaha.... The funniest thing to me out of all of it is that as soon as Madison hears the water stop she opens the door and asks if me if I'm finished and can we play with toys.... The Life of a Mommy can sometimes be hilarious and annoying at the same time! Lol

Tootles

Going out with a 3 1/2 year old & a 3 month old...

While I would be out I would feel like I was going to lose my mind... I would be driving and Madison would be buggin about something and then the baby would start crying. And when the baby starts crying I try turning the music up or putting the binky in her mouth but nothing really works b/c I'm driving. It gets so bad sometimes, I would tell Madi to unhook the top of her seat belt in her carseat to put the binky back in her mouth. Now, for those of you who want to call the child protective services on me; she's still buckled in its just the part across the chest that she loosens and then she puts it back together. Hey! Desperate times calls for Desperate Measures:-/

Today it happened again but this time when all else failed I just let her cry and she cried herself to sleep... I realized I can't keep trying to do so much while I'm driving b/c I've almost crashed a couple of times...Lol

When I found out I was pregnant with Mallorie, I knew that one day I would have to go out alone with her and Madison but I always felt like I wouldn't be able to handle it AND sometimes I feel like I can't, even when I'm out with them. Slowly but surely I'm conquering going out with both of my girls and it feels good. I'm almost a Pro!

Tootles

What a Friend I have in Jesus!!!!

I am a 25 year old mother and wife and sometimes life can get overwhelming, challenging, and flat out crazy. I began to get very overwhelmed. I could barely get out of bed to play with Madison b/c my mood was that bad but I would still make it a point to play with her at some point within a day. My husband was spending less time with me and that was also taking a toll on me (he's doing better by the way) I still love my husband he is a Great man but I will honestly say I was being neglected and it hurt me. I don't have many friends and the one's I do have we don't go out or talk as much so to make a long story short I was feeling very neglected, alone, scared, depressed, and so on.

As the days went on I would get in the shower and pray to Jesus b/c I know he listens and he answers prayer!

I GAVE IT TO GOD!

I am doing BETTER I refuse to allow the devil to still my joy, my marriage, and my mind..... I love my family and I know that I am loved but as a child the devil new how to get to me and it was always my mind. I've had a lot going on in my life since I was 3 years old but I always seem to bounce back and that's how I know that God has a plan for my life. I will NOT let the devil win!

God's word says that he will never leave me nor forsake me, so, I know he's with me....

This song really encouraged me.... What A friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege it is to carry. Everything to God in prayer!

I will leave with this scripture....

Isaiah 41:10- Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed. for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Tootles

My Kid says the Darnedest Things

1.) Mommy I went to the potty and my pee was yellow and my boo boo was black

2.) With a very concerned look on her face she told her father that veggie tales don't have arms

3.) Mom daddy's car is dirty and he needs to clean it, I'm scared to clean it so he needs to clean it

These are the funniest things that she said today.... Just thought I would share:-)

Tootles

All I want is

Quality time with my husband.... but what do I get? Excuses! All the time... Everything else is more important. Georgia Bulldogs, Twitter, Facebook, The Gym, Etc. All I get is the tired man that wants to go to bed after he's played with all those things... If we watch a movie that I want to watch he falls asleep.... If I ask to do something, sometimes he'll say I'm tired but will stay on his laptop for another hour... funny right? The other day he says I must go to the gym 3 times a week and I got so upset because he doesn't even say I must spend time with my wife at least once a week. All I asked was to play scrabble before bed and you know what he said "I'm not staying up all night playing that game b/c you know that game is long" but guess what he's doing at this very moment. ON HIS LAPTOP:-) I didn't even get upset like I normally would b/c I seem to get a little out of hand some time but all I said was don't worry about it. I WILL NOT beg for his attention. I'm upset right now and all I want is "US" time but what do I get? excuses....

He did say he was taking me out this weekend (which will be the first time we've been out in months since before I had the baby) so I have to make sure I have enough milk pumped in order for us to go anywhere. However, don't get me wrong I have a good husband and he takes care of his family and he loves me unconditionally but when it comes down to quality time with me he neglects it. I won't keep writing about this situation b/c I'll keep working myself up.... LOL

Tootles

POTTY UPDATE!!!!!

Drumroll Please..........................................

MADISON IS OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has been wearing panties everyday all day for a whole month now and has had 0 accidents... The only time she puts on a pull up is at bedtime and most of the time she wakes up dry:-)

I am one PROUD mommy!!!!

Here's a sneak peek of my Madison during our photoshoot in November. 

Mallorie's Birth Story

I'm going to try and make this as short as possible:-)

On October 17, 2011 Little Miss Mallorie Victoria Lockwood was born!

To make a long story short on October 15th around 11pm I started having little cramps and they begin to escalate to me. I dont know if it was b/c I just wanted her to come out or if it was really happening but I ended up calling my Dr. on Oct 16th around 5 am and he told me to head to the hospital (I was 38 weeks and 4 days at this point) so we dropped Madison off at my Aunts house and headed to the hospital. We got there signed the papers and headed to my Labor & Delivery room. I'm going to skip a few things and lets just say I wasn't in active labor but I was 2 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced. My contractions had slowed down so they had no reason to keep me but my Dr. came and said he wanted to keep me so we knew that she was coming soon.

While we waited on something to happen I got extremely hungry and I begged my Dr for an hour to let me eat so my husband went downstairs and got me a big mac meal and I was good to go. The meal put me to sleep so while I was sleeping I was awaken with 3 nurses at my side yelling telling me to turn over because her heart rate got really low and to make a long story short throughout the entire day I went through that and yes it was a little aggravating having to lay on my left side for hours but I knew I had to, they also put me on pitocin to help speed up my contractions.

I think I was around 6 or 7 centimeters when I decided to get epidural and after that epidural I couldn't feel ANYTHING until a few hours after she was born. I was told that the nurse pumped a little to much of it in my IV. However, after the epidural I went back to sleep for a while and when my nurse came back in to check me and a she was checking me I said I feel something tingling. Honestly, thats all I could feel. It wasn't a pop or a gush that I felt but it was sort of like butterflies in my stomach and my husband was standing over me and said that my water had broke and I look down and water was just flowing everywhere and while that was happening her heart rate got extremely low and all I can say is that everything started moving so fast at that point, I got so scared.

They put me on oxygen because they said the baby wasn't getting enough oxygen. Dr came in and they were like push we have to  get her out, so I started pushing and to my knowledge I was so numb I thought I was pushing but I wasn't so he has to use a vacuum to get her out which I couldn't feel either. Luckily, I didn't tear throughout that whole process. My husband was unable to cut the cord because it was so much going on but she came and she was healthy and that's all that matters. She was born on October 17th at 1:05 am weighing 6 pds & 9 oz. I was so happy and so was my entire family who was waiting in the waiting room to meet her. By the way- Northside Hospital Atlanta is THE best hospital Ever! AND so is my DR.:-)

I had her on that Monday and the night before we got ready to leave (Tuesday Night) we found out she had Jaundice and to make a long story short we weren't able to go home that Wednesday and she had to stay an extra day until her skin was a little clearer. However, they let us stay with her and we all came home Thursday Night!

Me & My Husband before she came

My Mommy & I

My First Born Madison & she's Excited

Yay! She's Here

The Happy Parents

Mommy & Baby

Big Sister & Little Sister

Getting Cleaned up & she doesn't like that at all

Sleeping Beauty

 Big Sister came to visit us the following day

Dressed for her pictures

Mallorie's First Pictures

Daddy checking on our little Jaundice Baby

Getting Ready to go home

Finally Home