My thoughts @ 2:30 am

It's 2:30 "AM" and I can't sleep and I have to be at church at 9:00 am  so I decided to post on something that has been weighing in on my heart all night.

I feel like I've been so distant from God. Not that I want to be but it just seems like I've had something holding me back from being where and who he wants me to be. Ever been there?


Accepting Jesus as my Savior and living this life as a Christian is not easy but I want to do it. He died for me so I can live and be forgiven for past, present, and future sins.

I started to get down tonight for a split second and I realized that I am a Friend of God. No matter when I feel alone or I feel like no one is there, HE IS! He is my Friend and He is an Omnipresent God meaning he is always there. Everywhere I am, he is right there. He is there with me even when I feel like I'm so far away from him.

I don't like to make Resolutions or should I say promises I can't keep but I have a couple of things I want to do starting this week to get my relationship with God back on track. I just want more of him.... I want all that God has for me and I want to know him for who he is and not from what someone told me. So, I've decided to jot down a few things that would help me get to that point.

1.) Put me and the girls on an actual schedule
2.) Go to to the Bible book store and purchase a couple of good reads to help me grow spiritually (I have some awesome books but I need more because I want more of God)
3.) Wake up at 6:00 am to pray and meditate on God's word and if I don't wake up that early because I am definitely not a morning person. I will set time aside (at least an hour) to get my time in with God.
4.) Exercise
5.) Control my thoughts and not think so much on every little thing
6.) I will not allow fear to take over my mind
7.) Be a better wife & mother

I believe if I can do all of those things I will be on the right track. The older I get I realize that having Balance & Structure in the home plays a huge role in your spiritual walk with Christ. Have you ever realized that when things are out of whack at home or life in general, everything seems to be falling apart? Whether it be mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual.... And then when you have that structure in your life, everything seems to be OK? Even when its not ok 365 days out of the year, when you have that balance its easier to put things back in place. Well, that's where I want to be.... This year I want all that God has for me and I plan on receiving every bit of it.

Have you ever been where I am? If so, what did you do to help you grow or to have that consistent time with him? What steps did you take?

Deuteronomy 28:13 And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:

-Martina

What a Friend I have in Jesus!!!!

I am a 25 year old mother and wife and sometimes life can get overwhelming, challenging, and flat out crazy. I began to get very overwhelmed. I could barely get out of bed to play with Madison b/c my mood was that bad but I would still make it a point to play with her at some point within a day. My husband was spending less time with me and that was also taking a toll on me (he's doing better by the way) I still love my husband he is a Great man but I will honestly say I was being neglected and it hurt me. I don't have many friends and the one's I do have we don't go out or talk as much so to make a long story short I was feeling very neglected, alone, scared, depressed, and so on.

As the days went on I would get in the shower and pray to Jesus b/c I know he listens and he answers prayer!

I GAVE IT TO GOD!

I am doing BETTER I refuse to allow the devil to still my joy, my marriage, and my mind..... I love my family and I know that I am loved but as a child the devil new how to get to me and it was always my mind. I've had a lot going on in my life since I was 3 years old but I always seem to bounce back and that's how I know that God has a plan for my life. I will NOT let the devil win!

God's word says that he will never leave me nor forsake me, so, I know he's with me....

This song really encouraged me.... What A friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege it is to carry. Everything to God in prayer!

I will leave with this scripture....

Isaiah 41:10- Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed. for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Tootles

To all of the Mothers and Wives..... Be Encouraged!

Be Encouraged my sisters.... I know its not easy being a mother and a wife! For me I think it might be one of the hardest jobs to have. For some of us we may not be the bread winners of the family but we are the cooks,  disciplinarian, maid, care-givers, doctor, story-teller (for nighttime with the kids), sex machine, baker, lover, and many more things but you get what I'm saying.

We're ALL of these things and sometimes we get tired!!!! There are times when I want to just get in the car leave for a whole day without telling anyone where I am. I get frustrated, angry, and tired! I know people think we are superwoman/supermom but we are human and are trying to do the best we can and sometimes we want to feel appreciated. Trust me when I say that one little day we get a year is not enough.

I just want to encourage the mommies and wives out there to continue to do what you do best. It's not easy and it is tiresome but we will make it.

*Love until you can't love anymore

*Smile when you want to roll your eyes and punch a whole in the wall

*Take a break and do something for yourself. This one is for me too b/c I rarely do this and as soon as I have this baby things will and are going to change around here, b/c I hardly get me time and that's where a lot of my frustration comes in.

The title and roll we carry is not easy but we can and will make it.... Even when we don't want to be let's be the best mommies and wives we can be... Be Encouraged and let's keep each other lifted up in prayer!

Lord,

Thank you for you love, your unconditional love. Thank you for being our provider and supplying all of our needs. Forgive us for all things known and unknown and help us to forgive ourselves for anything we've done... We offer ourselves to you first and then to our families asking that you will help us to love our spouses unconditionally. When good times come, help us to love. When bad times come, help us to love. Help us to be patient, kind-hearted, and to understand our husbands. Allow us Lord to be patient with our children and to be the mother's you've called us to be. Help us to be the prayer warriors of our families to keep our families strong and together because we know that only you can do it. Give us understanding on how to be the Mothers and Wives that you would have us to be. We cast our cares upon you God for we know that only your yoke is easy and your burden is light. We give our cares to you when we're stressed, we give our cares to you when were down, feeling lonely, or unloved. We love you lord for keeping us this far and we pray that you will continue to keep us and make and mold us into the women you want us to be. I pray that the spirit of depression, anxiety, and worry will not overtake us. Wrap us in your arms and comfort us when we feel alone and that no one cares. Give us the strength to make it even when we don't feel like we can! You are God, our father, and our comfort and with you all things are possible. We know that you can mend the broken hearts so Lord any Mother or Wife who is broken and who need you at this very moment comfort them and heal them of every hurt and pain.  Help us to endure and help us to see what the future holds for us. In Jesus Name , Amen!

Think about what you're Thinking about....

I just finished Chapter 7 in Joyce Meyer's "The Battlefield of the Mind" and I must say that this book has really been blessing me. This book is about winning the battle in our minds. Sometimes we let our minds and what we think about control who we are and it also at times affects our everyday life. I know I have.... I would get something in my mind and for the rest of the day (sometimes) it would really have me thinking negative or it may sometimes ruin my whole day. So far, this book has really been helping me in my spiritual walk with Christ and it is gradually helping me to change my way of thinking and I thought that since it blessed me I would like to be a blessing to someone else that may be going through tough times or who just need a little encouragement on today.

In Chapter 7 Think about what you're Thinking about, it talks about how we should spend our time meditating on God's word. The more time we spend meditating on the word, the more we will reap from the word. Mark 4:24 says that we should consider carefully what we hear. With the measure you use it, it will be measured to you and even more. This scripture is saying that whatever we put in to God's word that's what we will get out of it. Our flesh is lazy but we must endure and put our flesh under subjection and meditate on his word. We NEED the word of God and prayer to get us through this Christian walk. Let me be the first to say that it's not easy and some days I'm on fire for God and I'm being consistent in reading my Bible and Praying and other days I don't. I don't want to be like that. I want to give God what's due to him. A LOT of the time my mind would wonder and think about all sorts of stuff and would began to think negative about my life and I know now after reading Chapter 7 as to why that would happen. It would be because I was thinking negative thoughts instead of thinking on the Word of God. I would allow satan to control my mind and I wouldn't totally give it to God. 

Change your thinking and realize that the reason we go through a lot is because we don't think the right things. If we think negative things, things will be negative, if we think positive things, things will be positive. Sometimes our minds can be a mess and we'll be thinking about stuff that doesn't even make sense. We'll dwell on it and allow that thing we're thinking about to mess up our whole day. We must line our thinking up to God's word. God's word will get us through tough times and let me tell you its not easy. I get so upset at times and I don't want to pray or meditate on God's word, I just want to curse some people out and be mad but that's not what God's word would have us to do. He wants us to love and believe that he will get us through (Trust Him).  

In Psalms 143: 4-5 Talks about how David was depressed but he started to dwell on the works of God's hand. He didn't focus on the problem and he didn't allow people to mess up his day but he meditated on God and he overcame depression. Joyce Meyer said it best..... Satan knows what makes us happy and what makes us miserable. When a person is full of wrong thoughts he is miserable. He (satan) wants us to think that what's going on around us is what's making us unhappy but its really what's going on inside us (our thoughts) that's making us miserable. Meaning if we change the way we think (even when its the hardest thing to do sometimes) our day will brighten up just because we changed our thoughts. 

I remember sometimes the more I thought about stuff other than what God would have me dwell on I would get more upset and more depressed. Its amazing what our minds will do to us. So, Think about what you're thinking about and you may be able to locate some of your problems and be on your way to freedom very quickly because God doesn't want our minds in bondage but he wants us to live, think, and breathe free in him. I really needed this because for the last couple of days I've been getting down about somethings marriage, motherhood, and  life but God showed me through Chapter 7 that I need to change my thoughts and give it to him, all of my cares I need to give it to him and allow him to fix it because me thinking about won't change anything but me praying about it and casting my cares upon him will change the situation around me. I want to be in such peace and on one accord with God's word that whatever is happening around me I will not let it affect my day and my mood.

Psalms 55:22 -Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. 

Make today and everyday a great day. God Bless

Friends... How many of us have them?

I've tried to make friends that can relate to me and some that I wouldn't mind being friends with in general. I've planned things, called people, tried to hang out, etc. but what always happens, they are either busy or its always maybe next time, and most times there is no next time. How many of you feel me on this??

Sometimes I use to wonder, is there something wrong with me? But I've come to realize that there's nothing wrong with me but God will put people that I need in my life and the people I don't need he makes it obvious enough for me to see that I don't need them at the present time or at all.

I love being around Mel and Maddie but sometimes they can aggravate me and vice versa because we're together all the time and I long for that girlfriend I can just hang out with and talk to. I'm not trying to have lots of friends but a few girlfriends I can hang out with from time to time wouldn't be so bad :-)

However, I do realize that sometimes after you've been through alot with people God is keeping you safe from being hurt again and he's preparing you for the right friends that you need. I don't feel bad at all because I know what God is doing in my life so in his timing he's going to send people my way that will have my best interest at heart.

I have who I need in my life so I'm not complaining just expressing how I feel at the present time. Maybe its the baby making me all emotional again...hehehe.... So, let's just remember that sometimes God is keeping us from some people and preparing us for those we need. Let's not get discouraged but rejoice because the future holds so much more...