SHE'S HERE!!!!

Mallorie Victoria Lockwood has arrived.... She made her Grand Entrance on October 17th 2011 weighing 6lbs 9oz! We are more than excited to have our now 3 week old daughter... Madison is doing great being a big sister and I think I have to tell her to leave her sister alone at least 50 times a day. I am sleep deprived & tired but all is well. I haven't been on here in a while and that's all because I have a newborn and things have been a little crazy around here especially being sleep deprived, breastfeeding, and having a toddler running around here but I am blessed and loving these precious moments and when I get some more time I will give my interesting birth story but until then here is a picture of my princess fresh out of the womb!

Progress!!!!

Today is Friday Oct 14, 2011 but on Wednesday Oct 12, 2011 my doctor stated that I was 2 centimeters and said I wouldn't make it until the end of the week. He also gave me a membrane sweep (which was very uncomfortable) to help me dilate. I'm so excited.... My little Angel will be here soon and I can't wait to see her:-) Papa Bear & Maddie Bear are so excited and so is the rest of my family. I'm 38 weeks and 2 days and I think she'll be here by week 39. GOD IS SO AMAZING!

Here are a few Family/Pregnancy Portraits....

~Have a Great Weekend~

38 weeks Pregnant and a Bad Mom!

Being pregnant  38 weeks pregnant and having a toddler around is more difficult than I thought it would be. I am SO tired and I have no energy to play with her like I should and I feel so bad. I have to force myself and when I actually do play with her its only for about 5-10 mins and I'm done. The weird thing is that my nesting has kicked in and I have energy for that and that's about it. I love being a S.A.H.M but right now at this very moment I feel like the worse mommy in the world. She wants my time but I'm 2 weeks away from having her sister and I am TIRED! Tired of being pregnant, Tired of not being able to lay on my belly at night while I sleep, Tired of eating ALL the time, Tired of going to the bathroom 6 times a night (at least that's what it seems like), Tired of not being able to have crazy sex with my husband, Tired, tired, tired, tired..... I'm not complaining but I'm just tired! However, I am READY to meet baby Mercy.... I just want to hold her and kiss her:-) 

I wish Madison could understand what mommy is going through but I know she doesn't;-( It's just really hard for me right now... She has really been a trooper b/c she has been entertaining herself for the most part but I just miss our time together. I normally just sit in the bed all day and watch reruns of Law & Order SVU or Criminal Minds, read blogs, or play spider solitaire. 

I'm just ready to get back to my old self even though I think I may miss being pregnant and I'm eager to meet the little one!

My Big Girl at 3 1/2 years old

Those Contractions- Ouch!

I was in pain all day on September 21, 2011 but wanted to wait to see if the pain would stop. It sort of felt like menstrual cramps so around 10:00 pm I decided to call the doctor so he could tell me what he wanted me to do. He immediately said go to L & D, so me and Mel hopped in the car and went to the hospital. I checked in and they took me to my triage room and checked me but my cervix was completely closed and I had not dilated one bit! However, the nurse stated that my contractions were 2-5 mins apart and they didn't want me to go into preterm labor so they gave me some medicine to stop the contractions or should I say slow them down. They stopped for a while and came back and were now 7 mins apart so they gave me another shot to stop the contractions and an ultrasound, uti test, and some fluid because they also felt like I was dehydrated. Everything was fine and uti came back negative so they wanted to wait to see what would happen because they didn't want to give me anymore medicine to stress the baby.

My babyshower is the 2nd of October so I told little Mercy to stay put until that's over and then she can do what she wants b/c she'll be full term then. It's amazing how my body is preparing for the little one to come... I was induced with Madison so I have no idea what "going into labor felt like" I wanted that experience so I told my doctor ahead of time that I didn't want to be induced and I wanted it to happen on its own.  With Madison I was leaking Amniotic Fluid so they took her at 37 1/2 weeks and she was 7 pds 5 oz, which was fine because she was full term and I just wanted the both of us to be safe.

While giving me the ultrasound the nurse stated that the baby was already 5 pds and 10 oz and that she was completely healthy so that put a huge smile on my face. I told them I just want her to be healthy and that whatever they needed to do I was willing to go with the flow. I was blessed enough to go home and not be induced. Hopefully, she stays in there at least until after the baby shower b/c I'll be 37 weeks (full term) and b/c we can't miss out on all the precious gifts:-) We were at the Hospital for about 16 hours until they discharged me. I'm still contracting but they are farther apart and they stated that when they get closer they want me to come back.

35 weeks & 5 more to go!!!!!

Me at 35 weeks w/ Madison

(I'm normally prettier than this...lol)

I can't believe I only have 5 weeks left until my actual due date which is October 26, 2011 and I'm ecstatic:-)
We will have a new addition to the family and it sort of creeps me out because I don't know how its going to be with 2 children but I'm excited anyway. I'm ready for what's going to come.... The other day (which was Sunday) I was having really bad cramps. It sort of felt like menstrual cramps, I mean it was bearable but I didn't know what was going on because I didn't experience cramping with Madison and my female parts were throbbing so I called the doctor that following Monday. I went to see him on Monday afternoon so he could check me and he said that my cervix was completely closed and that I had not dilated, which was good news! I don't want to have Mercy before 37 weeks so I was happy about that but I think she's still going to come before her expected arrival. I'm just so ready to hold my little girl and I can't wait to see her precious face.

How was the transition of having 1 child to having 2 children?

My Decision, Your Decision, Who Cares!!!!

When it comes to breastfeeding people become so critical with a decision that is up to me to make. I get so aggravated when people ask how long I breastfeed Madison or am I going to breastfeed this baby. Last night was one of those nights that I just wanted to go off on someone because the question was asked and it sort of bothered me.

My cousin and his wife had their baby boy on Thursday so we went Thursday night and last night to see the baby. Last night, a close family friend was there and she asked if I breastfeed Maddie and I said yes for 3 months (I also explained why I had to stop due to a lot of complications I was having) and she said that's it? I was like yes and she chuckled and told me how long she breastfeed her 2 kids (who.... I won't go there) Lol... Maybe I'm overreacting but I had to change the subject real quick because I felt myself getting an attitude. My opinion is that if you decide to breastfeed for however long you want and if you decide not to breastfeed at all that's perfectly fine because that's your decision.

People really get me sometimes.....

However, I am going to try and breastfeed the little one that's on the way and I hope she latches on properly so I can continue to do it and if she doesn't oh well. She will still be healthy and smart. Regardless, of what people say the decision is mine and it's all good.

The nerves are kicking in

I didn't feel like I would feel this way but for the past few weeks as time draws closer for the baby to come, I keep getting nervous, wondering if she will be fine. I trust God and I believe everything will be alright but I've only had the usual blood work done, an ultrasound at 12 weeks, and an ultrasound at 20 weeks to find out the sex. Since my 20th week check up all my doctor does (who I absolutely love) is check the heartbeat and measure my tummy because he says she's perfectly fine. I'm happy to know that but in the back of mind sometimes I just get nervous. I prayed this morning because I felt like I was thinking to much but I feel better.

Have you ever felt that way as time approached?

To all of the Mothers and Wives..... Be Encouraged!

Be Encouraged my sisters.... I know its not easy being a mother and a wife! For me I think it might be one of the hardest jobs to have. For some of us we may not be the bread winners of the family but we are the cooks,  disciplinarian, maid, care-givers, doctor, story-teller (for nighttime with the kids), sex machine, baker, lover, and many more things but you get what I'm saying.

We're ALL of these things and sometimes we get tired!!!! There are times when I want to just get in the car leave for a whole day without telling anyone where I am. I get frustrated, angry, and tired! I know people think we are superwoman/supermom but we are human and are trying to do the best we can and sometimes we want to feel appreciated. Trust me when I say that one little day we get a year is not enough.

I just want to encourage the mommies and wives out there to continue to do what you do best. It's not easy and it is tiresome but we will make it.

*Love until you can't love anymore

*Smile when you want to roll your eyes and punch a whole in the wall

*Take a break and do something for yourself. This one is for me too b/c I rarely do this and as soon as I have this baby things will and are going to change around here, b/c I hardly get me time and that's where a lot of my frustration comes in.

The title and roll we carry is not easy but we can and will make it.... Even when we don't want to be let's be the best mommies and wives we can be... Be Encouraged and let's keep each other lifted up in prayer!

Lord,

Thank you for you love, your unconditional love. Thank you for being our provider and supplying all of our needs. Forgive us for all things known and unknown and help us to forgive ourselves for anything we've done... We offer ourselves to you first and then to our families asking that you will help us to love our spouses unconditionally. When good times come, help us to love. When bad times come, help us to love. Help us to be patient, kind-hearted, and to understand our husbands. Allow us Lord to be patient with our children and to be the mother's you've called us to be. Help us to be the prayer warriors of our families to keep our families strong and together because we know that only you can do it. Give us understanding on how to be the Mothers and Wives that you would have us to be. We cast our cares upon you God for we know that only your yoke is easy and your burden is light. We give our cares to you when we're stressed, we give our cares to you when were down, feeling lonely, or unloved. We love you lord for keeping us this far and we pray that you will continue to keep us and make and mold us into the women you want us to be. I pray that the spirit of depression, anxiety, and worry will not overtake us. Wrap us in your arms and comfort us when we feel alone and that no one cares. Give us the strength to make it even when we don't feel like we can! You are God, our father, and our comfort and with you all things are possible. We know that you can mend the broken hearts so Lord any Mother or Wife who is broken and who need you at this very moment comfort them and heal them of every hurt and pain.  Help us to endure and help us to see what the future holds for us. In Jesus Name , Amen!

Things I actually Love about my Husband

1.) He washes the dishes sometimes without me asking- Even though he may not do them the way I want, I won't complain because he does it and some men don't do that.

2.) He's a praying man and he truly loves the Lord- I love this most of all because you rarely find men like that anymore.

3.) He's very talented! He is amazing on the Acoustic Guitar....

4.) He is a very warm and kind person.

5.) Since the pregnancy he has taken care of me.... Maybe not all the time or exactly what I want him to do but if I want him to make me some cookies and milk, or get me a certain dish that I'm craving, or even deal with my whining when I don't get my way. I must say he does do those things and I am grateful..

Things I LOVE that my husband does......

1.) Eats my leftovers or drinks up all the drinks without saying anything.

2.) Inconsiderate of my feelings Ex: If you eat your pregnant wife's leftovers, food, drinks! That is very inconsiderate... lol

3.) He's a hoarder and he doesn't like to get rid of anything

4.) Puts more into football & the gym more than his girls (at least that's how I feel sometimes)

5.) Leaves things around for me to throw away or pick up since obviously I'm his maid

6.) Falls asleep while having pillow talk

7.) "Sometimes" Unresponsive to things I'm trying to communicate about

8.) Makes me feel like a Million Bucks- NOT! Lol

Marriage can be so complicated!!!!

Think about what you're Thinking about....

I just finished Chapter 7 in Joyce Meyer's "The Battlefield of the Mind" and I must say that this book has really been blessing me. This book is about winning the battle in our minds. Sometimes we let our minds and what we think about control who we are and it also at times affects our everyday life. I know I have.... I would get something in my mind and for the rest of the day (sometimes) it would really have me thinking negative or it may sometimes ruin my whole day. So far, this book has really been helping me in my spiritual walk with Christ and it is gradually helping me to change my way of thinking and I thought that since it blessed me I would like to be a blessing to someone else that may be going through tough times or who just need a little encouragement on today.

In Chapter 7 Think about what you're Thinking about, it talks about how we should spend our time meditating on God's word. The more time we spend meditating on the word, the more we will reap from the word. Mark 4:24 says that we should consider carefully what we hear. With the measure you use it, it will be measured to you and even more. This scripture is saying that whatever we put in to God's word that's what we will get out of it. Our flesh is lazy but we must endure and put our flesh under subjection and meditate on his word. We NEED the word of God and prayer to get us through this Christian walk. Let me be the first to say that it's not easy and some days I'm on fire for God and I'm being consistent in reading my Bible and Praying and other days I don't. I don't want to be like that. I want to give God what's due to him. A LOT of the time my mind would wonder and think about all sorts of stuff and would began to think negative about my life and I know now after reading Chapter 7 as to why that would happen. It would be because I was thinking negative thoughts instead of thinking on the Word of God. I would allow satan to control my mind and I wouldn't totally give it to God. 

Change your thinking and realize that the reason we go through a lot is because we don't think the right things. If we think negative things, things will be negative, if we think positive things, things will be positive. Sometimes our minds can be a mess and we'll be thinking about stuff that doesn't even make sense. We'll dwell on it and allow that thing we're thinking about to mess up our whole day. We must line our thinking up to God's word. God's word will get us through tough times and let me tell you its not easy. I get so upset at times and I don't want to pray or meditate on God's word, I just want to curse some people out and be mad but that's not what God's word would have us to do. He wants us to love and believe that he will get us through (Trust Him).  

In Psalms 143: 4-5 Talks about how David was depressed but he started to dwell on the works of God's hand. He didn't focus on the problem and he didn't allow people to mess up his day but he meditated on God and he overcame depression. Joyce Meyer said it best..... Satan knows what makes us happy and what makes us miserable. When a person is full of wrong thoughts he is miserable. He (satan) wants us to think that what's going on around us is what's making us unhappy but its really what's going on inside us (our thoughts) that's making us miserable. Meaning if we change the way we think (even when its the hardest thing to do sometimes) our day will brighten up just because we changed our thoughts. 

I remember sometimes the more I thought about stuff other than what God would have me dwell on I would get more upset and more depressed. Its amazing what our minds will do to us. So, Think about what you're thinking about and you may be able to locate some of your problems and be on your way to freedom very quickly because God doesn't want our minds in bondage but he wants us to live, think, and breathe free in him. I really needed this because for the last couple of days I've been getting down about somethings marriage, motherhood, and  life but God showed me through Chapter 7 that I need to change my thoughts and give it to him, all of my cares I need to give it to him and allow him to fix it because me thinking about won't change anything but me praying about it and casting my cares upon him will change the situation around me. I want to be in such peace and on one accord with God's word that whatever is happening around me I will not let it affect my day and my mood.

Psalms 55:22 -Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. 

Make today and everyday a great day. God Bless

A much needed Date Night....

When you get married and have children sometimes you forget about "us" and the time you need with just you and him.... So, Madison stayed with her Nana (Thanks Mom) and me and my husband decided that we would do something last night so I was craving ribs and he took me to Sonny's and then we went to a dollar movie to see the Hangover 2 which was hilarious. I told him this morning when I woke up that he has me sprung, we had been having a lot of tension between us and couldn't figure out why we kept arguing ALL the time and I think we just needed that quality time without Madison. Trust me when I say that was all we needed:-)

Its a must that "we" husbands and wives make time for each other so we can keep the romance and the relationship alive. Its a MUST! You don't want your marriage to start getting boring. Even if you have to rent a movie, cuddle and hold each other at night, cook together, etc. its imperative that we keep the romance alive. Prayer is also the key actually the #1 key to a successful marriage and then you add to the list but we must pray for our spouses and our marriage that God will sustain us in this time. Show your spouse some love and do something (surprisingly) different and watch what happens.

Let's keep love alive and watch our marriages flourish into what God wants it to be!

~Pregnancy DON'TS~

This is the # 1 don't

Yes, I love being pregnant but No I don't like people touching my belly. It's very annoying..... The thing that I hate most is that people automatically touch my stomach without even asking and it irritates the heck out of me. I try to be nice about it because I don't want to be known as the "mean" pregnant woman. I never rubbed a woman's stomach while they were pregnant because I felt like it could/would be an annoying thing to do and I don't make certain comments because I know that pregnant women are very sensitive to certain things which brings me to number 2.

#2- You're getting HUGE is what I hear all the time and that is annoying as well. Like, ummmmm- I have a human growing on the inside of me did you expect me to stay small?

#3- When is the baby due? It's ok to ask if I you've never asked but if you ask me every time I see you then you must have a serious issue! I'm getting tired of repeating myself to folks..

I can't think of any more at the moment but yeah those 3 are really starting to become annoying.....

Did people do things to annoy you while you were pregnant?

30 weeks down & 10 more to go:-)

It's amazing how fast the time has went by since I found out I was pregnant with baby #2.... I'm so grateful to God that I have made it through more than half of this pregnancy with no complications. The only thing that I've actually been through was the usual: Morning sickness, mood swings, an enormous appetite, etc. so I really have no complaints here oh except for the whole "being pregnant during the summer.....hehehe".... I realize that alot of women have trouble conceiving so I've been trying my best not to complain because it could be alot worse. Everyone is excited to meet her and so is her Little sister Madison. Every day she ask if I'm going to the hospital to push her out.. So Cute right? I'm glad she's understanding what is going on and I pray to God she doesn't get too jealous but that she loves her and will help mommy with her. We have also decided on a name as of last night and her name will be drumroll...........................................
MERCY NOELLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I picked out Madison's name which is Madison Wanita so my husband wanted to pick out the new baby's name. He really loved the name Mercy and I didn't but as the months went by it kind of grew on me so I told him to pick between Mercy Noelle or Mercy Sophia and I think we both new that it would be Mercy Noelle. I'm praying that the next 10 weeks will go as smoothly as its been going and that she will be as healthy as ever.

~tootles~

Potty Training with the Lazy child!

Yes, I called her lazy because she is..... If people saw how Madison acted on a daily basis you would think that she would be using the potty by now. But no she likes making messes in her clothes for me to change. If I sound pissed, well, it's because I am! I'm SO frustrated to the point that I just want to put her on panties and let her sit in it until she got so disgusted with it that she would want to use the potty. Obviously, I won't do it because I don't want to have to clean up the mess. This little girl tells me when she's hungry, thirsty, what movie she wants to watch etc. but can't say the words I really want to hear... "Mom I need to use the potty"............. I've tried everything I know how to do and its not working. I've been consistent with it, I've put her in timeout, and all that stuff but nothing is working and I'm at the end of my rope trying to make Ms. Lazy use it on her own or at least tell me that she has to. She's even gotten to the point if she pees in her bed she makes it up and change her diaper and act like nothing ever happened. Another thing she does that really, really, urkes me is that if she pees on the floor she'll get something and cover it up and wont say a word. Like really Maddie, If you can do all of that, are you telling me you can't use the potty???? I've disciplined her and I've tried to talk to her so she could understand why she needs to go but nothing is working. However, I guess she is set on making my life miserable!!!! Today, I took her Disney Princesses a way (because she loves them and that's pretty much all she plays with during the day) and I'm hoping that does something if not I will gradually take all the toys out of her room until she makes up in her mind that she's going to be a big girl.

My Weekend

 

was pretty good:-) As soon as my husband came home he took a short nap while me and Madison started getting dressed because he wanted to take us to the Falcons scrimmage game. The ride to the game was good and we parked in a church parking lot where the shuttles picked everyone up. We got to the stadium and there were literally no seats so me being 7 months pregnant, I began to get irritated because it was already 100 degrees outside but I decided that I wouldn't let myself get all worked up on our family outing. So, they gave out fans, rosters, and different falcon's keepsake's and we bought a pepperoni pizza from papa john's from one of the vendors and then we had to stand for over an hour to see the game (not happy about that) good thing was it started to thunder so lots of people started to leave and so did we. Hubby met a couple of football players and he was very excited about that. It was really good to do something for a change instead of the same old thing. Sometimes we try to switch things up a bit to keep our marriage exciting and Madison happy.


 Well, the following day we slept in for a while and I had a big bowl of fruit loops and we started to straighten up the house a little bit and around 5 we headed out to take Madison to her Great Grandmothers house for a few hours while we went to a stage play that the marriage ministry at our church was hosting.

The play was ok, we thought that it would've focused on marriage a little bit more.... I mean we were kind of disappointed but overall it was nice to do something different for a change. Some of us went to applebees afterward and we had good food and conversation. Sunday we went to church and I was so proud of Madison because she sung with the youth in the choir and did a great job. She's growing up so fast!!! We went to my aunts for sunday dinner and laughed and talked until everyone got tired so overall our weekend was awesome and I can't wait for more great weekends to experience with my family.

The worse smell ever

Is coming from me....... My gas has become intolerable for the past couple of hours:-/ I'm really hoping that it's from the pregnancy, so hopefully I have 2 more months of this. I even have to turn my head when it comes out. Lol... Yeah, its that bad. Rotten Eggs x10. I don't even know what else to say about that but I had to share because I'm just amazed at how bad it smells...hahahaha......

Friends... How many of us have them?

I've tried to make friends that can relate to me and some that I wouldn't mind being friends with in general. I've planned things, called people, tried to hang out, etc. but what always happens, they are either busy or its always maybe next time, and most times there is no next time. How many of you feel me on this??

Sometimes I use to wonder, is there something wrong with me? But I've come to realize that there's nothing wrong with me but God will put people that I need in my life and the people I don't need he makes it obvious enough for me to see that I don't need them at the present time or at all.

I love being around Mel and Maddie but sometimes they can aggravate me and vice versa because we're together all the time and I long for that girlfriend I can just hang out with and talk to. I'm not trying to have lots of friends but a few girlfriends I can hang out with from time to time wouldn't be so bad :-)

However, I do realize that sometimes after you've been through alot with people God is keeping you safe from being hurt again and he's preparing you for the right friends that you need. I don't feel bad at all because I know what God is doing in my life so in his timing he's going to send people my way that will have my best interest at heart.

I have who I need in my life so I'm not complaining just expressing how I feel at the present time. Maybe its the baby making me all emotional again...hehehe.... So, let's just remember that sometimes God is keeping us from some people and preparing us for those we need. Let's not get discouraged but rejoice because the future holds so much more...

Pregnancy during the summer time

We planned this pregnancy around January and were pregnant in February (I guess you can call me fertile myrtle) during this time I was excited because with Maddie Bear I was pregnant during the winter, so being pregnant during the summer would be a great experience, well- at least that's what I thought. After being pregnant during the months of May, June, July, and August I have come to the realization that I will NEVER get pregnant around this time again.

For the most part I will say it has been ok but this heat is beyond unbearable. I wake up in the middle of the night just to change my shirt because I've sweated the other one out. I'm always sweating so that means even on my face, so, I can't even where my make-up and with all the changes I'm experiencing I need it....hahaha

With Madison I didn't deal with complications, laziness, or a desire to just lay around all day but this pregnancy is beyond different. So, what they say is true- every pregnancy is different. Having a toddler running & jumping around all day and wanting me every 5 mins just makes things a little worse. I love being at home with Maddie but being pregnant with this baby and staying home with Maddie has really taken a toll on me.  I feel like I haven't given her all the attention that she wants or needs. Yes- we play but not as much as we use to and I just don't have the energy I did when I was 5 months pregnant. The bigger I get the more sluggish I am.

With my husband, I must say I have a GREAT man! We've had plenty of arguments, silent treatments, and all of the above x 2 since I've been pregnant but I'm so grateful that he's been patient with me and has really helped out, more than most men would. He's gotten on my nerves and vice versa but the love that we have for each other always out weighs all of that other stuff. Today he came home during his lunch break and I was having another pregnancy "emotional" breakdown and I asked him to pray for me and he started to pray. Tears begin to run down my face and all I could do was thank God for sending me a man of prayer! I'm so thankful for that prayer because within a few mins I was back on track. He's been so understanding at times and for the past few days has been VERY patient with me. He downloaded a Pregnancy Workout routine and I did it for the first time today and at the end she tells us to relax and breathe in and out and I fell alseep so I'm hoping the next time that won't get the best of me but will give me a burst of energy.

I am praying for a safe delivery and a healthy baby and that's my heart's desire. Even though this heat is getting the best of me, seeing her little face is going to be such a Joy!

Happy in my own skin.....

I am comfortable with who I am and what I do right now in my life.

Most people think I should be doing whatever they have in mind but what I'm doing is taking care of my family and I'm Happy with that. I've had a few emotional moments b/c there have been a few setbacks but overall I'm Happy. I enjoy waking up to my 3 year old Madison every morning (except for the whole potty thing...hehehe) seeing her grow into a beautiful girl. I can proudly say that I taught her ABC's, how to count to 20, her colors, her name, how old she, her b-day, etc. All of these great things were done by me and she's known all of these things since age 2 or younger. Being a S.A.H.M I am glad I was able to see all of this first hand and I was able to see her grow up into the beautiful girl she is now. I am expecting another Girl at the end of October 2011 and I plan on doing the same thing with her as well and I'm Happy with that decision.

When I was working I had pretty good jobs... Legal Assistant at a Law Firm and I even went back to school and I got hired on my externship and started working as a Administrative Assistant for the Billing Dept at a Podiatry Office. BUT I gave up up those jobs to focus on my family and I have no regrets. We had some financial setbacks but God has provided and I'm grateful.

I believe there are some women who wish they could stay home with their children but can't and there are some women who want to be out there working and guess what there is nothing wrong with either one.

It would really aggravate me when people would ask well what are you doing these days and I say "I"m a S.A.H.M"(stay at home mom) people sometimes give good responses and some have something negative to say but guess what it doesn't bother me either way because I'm Happy being me and where I am in life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there comes a time in life where we need to just be Happy with where we are, whether its working at a fast food joint, staying home with the family, going to school, not in school, etc. for so long people have always tried to put us in a certain category and they always try to decide what we should be doing and sometimes we do it just to please everyone else. I stopped that a long time ago.... Let's be Happy with where we are and where God is going to take us. If you're not in a good place right now and want God to change your situation just pray and ask for guidance and instruction on what he wants you to do. This life isn't easy and sometimes we get upset because we don't know what God wants us to do or what we even want to do but all I'm saying is until you find out what that something is.... Live Life Happy and just enjoy it to the fullest!

Everything doesn't go the way I want it to all the time... Sometimes I even cry, get upset, complain etc. I'm human and those things happen but I brush it off and keep moving and I try my best to please God in whatever I'm doing.

Let's live a life pleasing to God. Let's be Happy. Let's live according to his word. and let's not let the world dictate what we should do but do what you do and be Happy doing it:-)

Happiness

You cannot buy your happiness,
'Cause happiness is free.
Don't you know, or can't you guess,
It's there for you and me.
And what you do with what you've got,
Can change the way you feel.
Just do your best and smile a lot,
You'll keep an even keel. 
Cause happiness is made for YOU,
Just take a bite and see
That happiness is what you do
With something that is free. 

By: George Savige

Potty Training= Headache!

How many parents are experiencing the same thing? TONS.... And what do we do about it? I'm still trying to understand why it's such a struggle for her to go to the potty. Is it because she's still dependent on me? Is she lazy? Does she just want me to change the diaper because she's still in baby mode? I ask these questions because I don't know. This little 3 year old girl of mine can ask for anything and can do just about anything except tell me that she has to potty or even just go on her on. She knows all of her colors, can count to 20, knows her ABC's etc. I thought it would be easier to train her because I stay home with her... NOT! hahaha... I just don't understand! Maybe one day it will happen but its really working that little nerve I have left, especially because I have another little one on the way. HELP:-(

This one is for the men.... Who are you married too????

Is it the Xbox, Your Job, Computer, Work, Church, Or Your Boys?

I ask those questions because that's what most men attach themselves too after a hard days work and its OK but nothing should come before your family. Did you make vows to all of those things? No...... So, We as women and children desire your attention. We shouldn't have to beg or complain or even argue until you decide to want to do something with us. If God blessed you with a family, you should want to spend quality time with them instead of complaining or making up excuses all the time for why you don't want to do anything.

For the record..... When you want to get on top of us and have sex, we are tired too and sometimes don't even want to do it but we do.

I'll talk about me for a moment- My husband loves his Xbox and I don't mind him playing but he sometimes forgets about my feelings and neglects me due to that game and I desire his attention and I desire it even more now because I'm pregnant. That's just one of our issues but God is still working on us just like any married couple. Pray Saints! Lol

All men need an outlet and I'm saying that you shouldn't have one but don't forget about the ones who>>> Wash your clothes, take care of the kids, make sure everyone is feed, make sure the house is clean, etc. We work hard men and sometimes we just want to be held, feel appreciated, loved, special, sexy, and all of the above. If we can boost your ego you can boost ours sometimes. Can I get an Amen Ladies???

Men I know you feel like you're doing your duty by working and paying the bills and you think that's all you're suppose to do... Ummmmm- I hate to bust your bubble but that's not it! Men we appreciate ALL you do but I promise if you make us feel like you care, life would be alot easier:-)


                     

~Twitter: My new Friend~

I just joined twitter today!

I wasn't a fan of it at first but I have so much on my mind or I want to update my status ALL the time so I decided to get one. I love it so far so follow me at Tina_Shines.....

All social networks are not bad so let's enjoy life people:-)

Lesson Learned......

The other day I was sitting here thinking to myself about how when I use to go through things my first instinct was to pick up the phone and call a friend (most of the time) instead of take it to my father "Jesus"......

Since I was a teenager that's what I did until recently God showed me in the most dramatic way that I must lean on him or nothing will work in my life. He put me in a place where I was stuck; I would lean on ppl trying to get my answer on what to do with certain situations and nothing would ever work.

The reason I'm writing this is b/c we must realize who we can and can not talk too.... There are some ppl who have the love of God and who really want to help you get through certain situations and then there are some ppl who just want to be nosy. I'm going to be real when I say this and most of the ppl that were in my business didn't want to help me they just wanted to be nosy.

You have to be able to discern who is for you and who's not..... God showed me in the worse way possible but he had to do it! I loved God etc. but I was so insecure in myself and not strong enough spiritually to understand that I just needed to be patient and pray!

Being prayerful through ANY situaiton is the most vital thing you can do as a believer. Prayer really does change things.... You have to be consistent and believe that God will do what you ask but he's going to do in his timing and he will work on your behalf.

Pray and take your problems to Jesus and don't give the enemy room by telling your business to nosy ppl..... As believers we have to learn how to take control over our own life and stop letting ppl dictate our future. I learned my lesson as to who I should give my problems too, even though I already knew that he was the first one I should go to my flesh always wanted to hear it from someone else.

I was going through something and through all of what I was going through I finally gave it to Jesus because Man was leading me a stray and my flesh was tired so I gave it to Jesus and he spoke to me as clear as day. From then on I changed who I talked too and now before I decide to even call someone to vent ( by the way it's ok to have a trustworthy person to vent too b/c we all need that) I take it to Jesus and by the time I do get ready to call a friend God already worked it out.

I hate I had to go through that experience but God had to show me he was in charge and he did just that!

i'm seperating myself

I realized that there are times when you have to separate yourself from family, friends, and even some peers who may not seem to care about your feelings but who always put you down no matter what is going on and if it affects you as a person then you have to be mature about the situation and say enough is enough and do it in a mature way and remove yourself from ppl who consistently have something to say to you. Today was the last day that I will allow them to say comments about me. Well, they can talk but I told myself I will just separate myself when they come around. It can be 15 of us sitting around and guess who there main target is.....................................ME....................................and I'm so sick of it! Some may say that I'm acting like this b/c I'm pregnant and that may be true to a certain extinct but for the most part I have been fed up with this for years but it seems like I always find myself around them and they're at it again. Its so petty but it bothers me. I'm always their target and enough is enough. I know sometimes they are joking but its every 5 minutes when I'm around them and a person can only take so much. When other ppl are around I'll ask "Am I the only person you see right here?" I ask that b/c everyone else is ignored and I am always picked on. Sometimes I may have a blonde moment (LOL) but I mean alot of them have it and nobody says anything, I could say somethings back to them that would really hurt (I feel myself getting to that point, that's why I have separate myself) but I won't allow myself to stoop to their level. If you're in a situation where you feel like someone is affecting your self-esteem, you don't feel appreciated, or you find yourself aggravated every time you're around them. Find the courage and strength to separate yourself and no your self worth and don't allow anyone to talk down to you and make you feel less than what you are. One thing I found out, is that when ppl see other ppl do it to you (especially your family) they will (outsiders) will feel that is ok and that's not right. You must stand your ground and let ppl know that you're human just like they are and you have feelings like everyone else and if they can't respect that, then you know what you have to do. I love my family but I'm human and I'm fed up. Anyway, I'm tired of going on about this nonsense but that's how I felt today so until next time! Peace

Sick, Lazy, Nauseous, Excited.....

So, the title of this may confuse you but all of those descriptions could only mean one thing....

Baby #2 is on its way:-)  

  "WE" are excited.... My husband is wanting a boy and so am I. However, The constant sickness and nausea is driving me crazy. I'm already 3 months and I was hoping that it would be gone by now. I don't recall being this sick with Madison but every pregnancy is different. The constant cravings and eating ALL of the time is kind of freaking me out. Yes, its been 3 years since our first child but this child is taking a toll on me and I feel like I forgot about being pregnant, for some reason it feels like everything is so new to me. Sort of weird but true! I'm hoping in the next few weeks/months that all of this will go away and I will be a happy jolly preggo woman but until then I pretty much feel the need to snap on people who intentionally and unintentionally aggravate me. I feel so bad for running my husband around everywhere and whining but sometimes it gets to the point where I can't even help it. He's been so good to me. He cooks and whatever I need he gets it if he can and I don't take him for granted. I love my husband and he's one of the good one's and God couldn't have done a better job than to bless me with him. Now don't get me wrong I do feel like this is the least he could do since I'm the one going through all of the emotional, physical, and spiritual changes and I have to push the baby out so yeah ummmm that's the least "men" could do for their wives! LOL.... I am officially 3 months pregnant and the baby is due October 28th, 2011 and we're very excited. I just want to get better. I don't even feel like myself.... I feel like a lazy bomb. All I want to do is sleep, eat, and watch movies and its beginning to get on my nerves because I feel like I can't do anything but that. I force myself to get up and do something and my body or mind doesn't let me. Yesterday, I got up and cleaned the kitchen, dining room, and living room and felt really good about it and I had a GOOD day! Recently, I haven't had alot of those so I was happy about that. Me and Madison played and sung and danced around and I felt like maybe today would be like that one but SIKE I got fooled! LOLOLOL... However, hopefully it will get better and I will be able to enjoy my summer being preggo. I could keep rambling on but now I'm hungry again and I have to see if my honey will bring a pizza home:-) Peace

The Season 4 Finale of "THE GAME"

                                                                              
My favorite show ended yesterday and I was a little disappointed with the ending and then I thought about it. I understood why they did it, they wanted to leave us wanting more. People kept asking well how did Derwin know that Melanie had an abortion but if you play really close attention to the way she answered it then you would understand why he asked. With every other question she said no but with that question she said no, definitely no, and since they're married and have been together for so long he knew she was lying. Also, who's to say she actually had one. However, Malik is CRAZY to feel like all the things he's done wouldn't come back to him. Yes, he went to rehab and got his self straight but that doesn't excuse what he did in his past and how he treated people. Some people SOMETIMES I guess skip the karma thing but most us reap what we sow and for Malik to get upset at Derwin for trying to help him out to keep his job was so wrong. Like Derwin said you slept with the bosses wife, what did you expect to happen?? I like the fact that Malik was turning himself around but sometimes things come back to haunt us and its not fair but that's just life. Also, If I were Derwin and Melanie I would've fired Tasha too.... They were right Tasha loves her boy ( what mother wouldn't) and knowing her she would've focused all her energy on him and left Derwin hanging. Overall, I felt like it was a good ending to the show but I wish it was longer!

Excepting where I am in Life and Embracing Change!

Can we say Superwoman? So many things come to mind when we talk about the titles we have as women. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed (nothing wrong with that) b/c you have to do the laundry, get the kids ready, cook, work (even though I quit my job 2 months ago), have sex with the husbandman, play with the kids, clean, and yes I'm leaving some things out but sometimes I just want ME time but at times I so love being with my family! As long as we have that Balance everything will work out BUT sometimes its hard trying to keep things balanced b/c things change so much. Especially when your married with a child and some! People would say I wouldn't have gotten married so young or had kids at that age but who cares, NOT ME! I'm SO happy with my life, at first it was hard trying to except the decision I made to get married b/c I moved away from family and I was alone where we were living but God gives us a peace about where we are in our life and he allows to embrace where we are, except change, and learn life lessons. I won't lie and say it has been easy because it hasn't but I will say I'm thankful for who God placed in my life and who he took out. I no longer try to hold on to the past or dwell on it but I've learned to embrace and be a testimony to others. If you're reading this know that whatever you went though wasn't just for you but for you to help someone else.


Tina

I'm Back:-)))))

OMG-oodness!!!! It has been such a long time and yes 1 whole entire year but I'm back and ready to blog my little heart out. So much has been going on.... Good:-) AND Bad:-(..... BUT what I've been through is all apart of this little thing we call life; I'm learning to embrace this thing called life b/c you live and you learn and its a growing process. When I was a child I couldn't wait to be an adult... Now that I'm an adult I'm like Lord can I start over and try this thing ALL over again! But no he's allowed me to accept alot of things and embrace them and realized that this is what life is about and its not going to be perfect. Anywho, I am excited about life, my new laptop, and blogging. As some of you read my blog, you may not agree or understand me but one thing you should know about me is that.......{{{I'm a Realist}}} SO, Welcome to the thoughts of tina!



MaRtInA