i'm seperating myself

I realized that there are times when you have to separate yourself from family, friends, and even some peers who may not seem to care about your feelings but who always put you down no matter what is going on and if it affects you as a person then you have to be mature about the situation and say enough is enough and do it in a mature way and remove yourself from ppl who consistently have something to say to you. Today was the last day that I will allow them to say comments about me. Well, they can talk but I told myself I will just separate myself when they come around. It can be 15 of us sitting around and guess who there main target is.....................................ME....................................and I'm so sick of it! Some may say that I'm acting like this b/c I'm pregnant and that may be true to a certain extinct but for the most part I have been fed up with this for years but it seems like I always find myself around them and they're at it again. Its so petty but it bothers me. I'm always their target and enough is enough. I know sometimes they are joking but its every 5 minutes when I'm around them and a person can only take so much. When other ppl are around I'll ask "Am I the only person you see right here?" I ask that b/c everyone else is ignored and I am always picked on. Sometimes I may have a blonde moment (LOL) but I mean alot of them have it and nobody says anything, I could say somethings back to them that would really hurt (I feel myself getting to that point, that's why I have separate myself) but I won't allow myself to stoop to their level. If you're in a situation where you feel like someone is affecting your self-esteem, you don't feel appreciated, or you find yourself aggravated every time you're around them. Find the courage and strength to separate yourself and no your self worth and don't allow anyone to talk down to you and make you feel less than what you are. One thing I found out, is that when ppl see other ppl do it to you (especially your family) they will (outsiders) will feel that is ok and that's not right. You must stand your ground and let ppl know that you're human just like they are and you have feelings like everyone else and if they can't respect that, then you know what you have to do. I love my family but I'm human and I'm fed up. Anyway, I'm tired of going on about this nonsense but that's how I felt today so until next time! Peace

Sick, Lazy, Nauseous, Excited.....

So, the title of this may confuse you but all of those descriptions could only mean one thing....

Baby #2 is on its way:-)  

  "WE" are excited.... My husband is wanting a boy and so am I. However, The constant sickness and nausea is driving me crazy. I'm already 3 months and I was hoping that it would be gone by now. I don't recall being this sick with Madison but every pregnancy is different. The constant cravings and eating ALL of the time is kind of freaking me out. Yes, its been 3 years since our first child but this child is taking a toll on me and I feel like I forgot about being pregnant, for some reason it feels like everything is so new to me. Sort of weird but true! I'm hoping in the next few weeks/months that all of this will go away and I will be a happy jolly preggo woman but until then I pretty much feel the need to snap on people who intentionally and unintentionally aggravate me. I feel so bad for running my husband around everywhere and whining but sometimes it gets to the point where I can't even help it. He's been so good to me. He cooks and whatever I need he gets it if he can and I don't take him for granted. I love my husband and he's one of the good one's and God couldn't have done a better job than to bless me with him. Now don't get me wrong I do feel like this is the least he could do since I'm the one going through all of the emotional, physical, and spiritual changes and I have to push the baby out so yeah ummmm that's the least "men" could do for their wives! LOL.... I am officially 3 months pregnant and the baby is due October 28th, 2011 and we're very excited. I just want to get better. I don't even feel like myself.... I feel like a lazy bomb. All I want to do is sleep, eat, and watch movies and its beginning to get on my nerves because I feel like I can't do anything but that. I force myself to get up and do something and my body or mind doesn't let me. Yesterday, I got up and cleaned the kitchen, dining room, and living room and felt really good about it and I had a GOOD day! Recently, I haven't had alot of those so I was happy about that. Me and Madison played and sung and danced around and I felt like maybe today would be like that one but SIKE I got fooled! LOLOLOL... However, hopefully it will get better and I will be able to enjoy my summer being preggo. I could keep rambling on but now I'm hungry again and I have to see if my honey will bring a pizza home:-) Peace

The Season 4 Finale of "THE GAME"

                                                                              
My favorite show ended yesterday and I was a little disappointed with the ending and then I thought about it. I understood why they did it, they wanted to leave us wanting more. People kept asking well how did Derwin know that Melanie had an abortion but if you play really close attention to the way she answered it then you would understand why he asked. With every other question she said no but with that question she said no, definitely no, and since they're married and have been together for so long he knew she was lying. Also, who's to say she actually had one. However, Malik is CRAZY to feel like all the things he's done wouldn't come back to him. Yes, he went to rehab and got his self straight but that doesn't excuse what he did in his past and how he treated people. Some people SOMETIMES I guess skip the karma thing but most us reap what we sow and for Malik to get upset at Derwin for trying to help him out to keep his job was so wrong. Like Derwin said you slept with the bosses wife, what did you expect to happen?? I like the fact that Malik was turning himself around but sometimes things come back to haunt us and its not fair but that's just life. Also, If I were Derwin and Melanie I would've fired Tasha too.... They were right Tasha loves her boy ( what mother wouldn't) and knowing her she would've focused all her energy on him and left Derwin hanging. Overall, I felt like it was a good ending to the show but I wish it was longer!

Excepting where I am in Life and Embracing Change!

Can we say Superwoman? So many things come to mind when we talk about the titles we have as women. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed (nothing wrong with that) b/c you have to do the laundry, get the kids ready, cook, work (even though I quit my job 2 months ago), have sex with the husbandman, play with the kids, clean, and yes I'm leaving some things out but sometimes I just want ME time but at times I so love being with my family! As long as we have that Balance everything will work out BUT sometimes its hard trying to keep things balanced b/c things change so much. Especially when your married with a child and some! People would say I wouldn't have gotten married so young or had kids at that age but who cares, NOT ME! I'm SO happy with my life, at first it was hard trying to except the decision I made to get married b/c I moved away from family and I was alone where we were living but God gives us a peace about where we are in our life and he allows to embrace where we are, except change, and learn life lessons. I won't lie and say it has been easy because it hasn't but I will say I'm thankful for who God placed in my life and who he took out. I no longer try to hold on to the past or dwell on it but I've learned to embrace and be a testimony to others. If you're reading this know that whatever you went though wasn't just for you but for you to help someone else.


Tina